Engineer Jokes & Quotes

Engineer Jokes: An Optimist, a Pessimist and an Engineer

NASA’s Manned Probe to the Sun

Engineer Jokes: Volume of a Red Ball Found by an Engineer
A mathematician, scientist and engineer were tasked with finding the volume of a red ball.
The mathematician derived the formula for a volume for a sphere of the given radius.
The scientist submerged the ball in water in a graduated cylinder and measured the displaced volume.
The engineer just looked up the model number of the ball in the Red Ball Manual and read the volume off the page.

Engineer Jokes: Engineer at a Job Interview
Reaching the end of a job interview, the HR manager asked the young engineer fresh out of university, “And what starting salary were you looking for?”
The engineer said, “In the neighborhood of $100,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.”
The HR Manager said, “Well, what would you say to a package of $200,000 a year, 5 weeks of vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary and a company car leased every 2 years – say, a Mercedes?”
The engineer sat up straight and said, “Wow!!! Are you joking?”
And the HR Manager said, “Of course…but you started it.”

Engineer Jokes: An Engineer and the Talking Frog
An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, “If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess.” He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog then cried out, “If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I’ll stay with you for one week.”
Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, “What is the matter? I’ve told you I’m a beautiful princess and that I’ll stay with you for one week. Why won’t you kiss me?”
The engineer said, “Look, I’m an engineer. I don’t have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that’s cool.”

Architecture Vs Engineering. Walter Gropius (1883 – 1969) was a German architect and founder of the Bauhaus School. He is considered as one of the pioneering masters of modern architecture.

‘Engineering is about Doing’. Henry Petroski (Born 1942) is an American engineer specializing in failure analysis.

Achieving Function while Avoiding Failure

‘Engineering Stimulates the Mind’. Paul Bruce Dickinson (Born 1958) is an English singer, musician, author and broadcaster. He is the lead singer of the heavy metal band Iron Maiden.

No Mistakes in Aviation Engineering. Freeman John Dyson (Born 1923) is an English-born American theoretical physicist and mathematician.

Engineering is a noble profession, Queen Elizabeth II. Queen Elizabeth II (Born 21 April 2026) is Queen of the United Kingdom, Australia, New Zealand and Canada since 1952.

One Man’s ‘Magic’ is another Man’s Engineering. Robert Anson Heinlein (1907–1988) was an American science fiction writer.

The Mission of an Engineer. Barry Lam (Born 1949) is a Taiwanese and the Chairman & founder of Quanta Computer, the leading laptop producer worldwide.

How to Become a Real Engineer?

Astronauts going to Mars. Rony Abovitz (Born 1971) is an American biomedical engineer, entrepreneur, founder and CEO of Magic Leap.

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