Doctor Jokes (in English)

The Patient who Mentioned His Doctor in His Will
The patient shook his doctor’s hand in gratitude and said, “Since we are the best of friends, I would not want to insult you by offering payment. But I would like for you to know that I had mentioned you in my will.”
“That is very kind of you,” said the doctor emotionally, and then added, “May I see that prescription I just gave you? I’d like to make a little change…”

Husband Talks in Sleep
A woman asks a doctor: “My husband has a bad habit of talking in sleep! What should I give him to cure?”
“Give him an opportunity to speak when he is awake”, replies the doctor.

An Apple a Day..

A Unique Cough Syrup
The pharmacist walks into his store to find a guy leaning heavily against a wall. He asks the new sales girl: “What’s wrong with that guy?”
The sales girl responds: “Well, he came in here this morning to get something for his cough. I couldn’t find the cough syrup, so I gave him an entire bottle of Laxative.”
The pharmacist yells: “You idiot! You can’t treat a cough with a laxative!”
The new sales girl responds. “Of course you can! Look at him, he’s afraid to cough.”

My Wife is a Hen
Man: “Doctor! Doctor! My wife thinks that she is a hen.”
Doctor: “Do you want me to cure her?”
Man: “NO! I want a new egg recipe.”

Autopsies of Three Dead Bodies
Three dead bodies turn up at the mortuary of Mayo Hospital Lahore, all with very big smiles on their faces. After autopsies, the pathologist calls the police to tell them what has happened.
“First body: a cricketer, died of heart failure while taking Rs. 5 million from a bookie. Hence the enormous smile.””Second body: a man who won 1st prize in a Prize Bond draw and died of happiness, hence the smile.”The SHO asked, “What about the third body?”
“Ah,” says the Pathologist, “this is the most unusual one. Ghulam Hussain, a farmer from Sheikhupura, struck by lightning.”
“Why is he smiling then?” inquires the SHO.”
“Thought he was having his picture taken.“

Related Page:
Best Jokes

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